This poem is three of three. I posted them on three consecutive days instead of once a week because they belong together. Why these? Now? The holidays are often brutal for people with mental illness or suffering from trauma (probably all of us!). Our carefully crafted coping mechanisms are overrun by all things merry and bright. Old patterns of must-haves or must do's overtake us. Too much. Too much. Too much. There isn't enough time, or energy, or money to keep up with the media blitz of a perfect American Holiday Season. Families aren't perfect because people aren't perfect. Old hurts are dragged up like ornaments on a tree, there for everyone to gaze at until they are stuffed into a box and ignored for another whole year. We thought we were all better - until we realized we aren't.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to one another. Give extra hugs. Spread cheer, joy, hope, and love with thoughtful words and small kindnesses. Love sinks into hearts and stays long past the time when a fancy gift is forgotten. Honor boundaries people put on their time and energy. Forgive them on their dark days; celebrate the bright ones they offer to share with you. They are working to be their best selves because they love you. I am working to be my best self because I love you.
xxx ooo
Alice -------
Beneath the Surface III
Oh, I have been here
So many times before
Never Fear!
I have a list of Coping Skills!!
have I eaten? - eggs and toast
a bit of yoga? - 10 minutes
written in my journal? - 3 pages
hmmmmmm - not working
relaxing activity? - play with baby chicks'
affirmation of worth? - reread a love letter
hmmmmmm - double hmmmmm - disaster is near
the grey lowers
turns to black
limbs grow heavy
mental clarity fading
oozing apathy overtaking
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
heaving sobs startle the cats
Time for
The Last Resort
BACK TO BED
I strip off my clothes
slide between the sheets
earplugs shut out the noise
of a happy
productive
normal
world
going on without me
__________________________________________________________________
1:30 pm my clock announces
as I wake
stretch
yawn
hop out of bed
into the shower
Let’s Try This Day Again Shall We?
I'm pretty sure my day cannot go on without you.